Changes

Last week was a busy one for us. 

Tuesday was the big day – the girls both started their 30 month orthodontic treatments.  They’re still getting used to having metal in their mouths a week later.

Thursday was the day of a routine eye exam.  It’s been 2 years since they’ve had an exam but they had no problems last time around so I expected the same this time as well.  Instead, we discovered that both girls need glasses full time.

Braces.  Glasses.  With two huge changes in the same week I decided we should simply complete the makeover…. I took them both to get their hair cut. 

They look great! 

Retreat to The Teacher’s Lounge!

It’s that kind of day.

It’s our first real day back at homeschool since before Christmas.  We started out with some review math worksheets.  Just about every answer on the page was wrong.  They couldn’t remember how to subtract or compare fractions.  They don’t remember how to divide fractions or solve for an unknown.  They added 8 and 7 and got 18.  They divided 15 by 3 and got 3.  How is this possible?

I suppose since our breaks are less ‘official’ I somehow expected we’d simply slide back into academic work without a hitch.  I couldn’t have been more wrong. 

I suspect they’re feeling the need for a bit more vacation…. and they’re not the only ones.

I gave the old “I can’t believe you guys don’t remember how to do these simple things!”  speech, packed up the math materials for the day and sent them off to read books on oceanography.   I’ve retreated to the teacher’s lounge to try to put everything in perspective. 

I’m frustrated with myself that my expectations were a bit unrealistic and disappointed that I let my frustration get the better of me.  I remember how it felt to slowly get those gears turning again after an extended break.   I should have been a bit more understanding. 

So where do I go from here?  I think we’ll spend our afternoon doing some art lessons and playing educational games.  I think I’ll make some fresh copies of the math worksheets for tomorrow – so we can do them together, reviewing how to do them all.  I think I’ll make a plan for the rest of the week that will ease them back into using all those brain cells at the same time. 

But right now, I’m going to go make them some hot chocolate and apologize for my part in this whole mess….

More Christmas

It’s that time of year again!  We love Christmas time around here.

As we jump into the season the thought occured to me that this is yet another perk of the homeschooling lifestyle.  For music today we broke out the Guitar Hero and the girls sang and played along to Christmas carols.  We’ve got a few Christmas art projects planned already and as part of our studies the girls are learning about how to put on a Christmas play.

Now I’m sure that they’d do similar stuff if they were in school.  But because they’re here with me I get to do it all with them.  It’s not just music time or art time or drama class or creative writing practice.  It’s all family time.  And that’s really the best part of Christmas.

Sure we could try to squeeze some of this in even if the kids were in school….  But this way, there’s more of it.  More Christmas.  More time to enjoy the season together as a family.

Amazing

I sit here with my afternoon cup of hot chocolate in peace and quiet.  No.  I’m not alone.  There are 5 children in this house.  Yes, five – I’ve borrowed a few from a friend for the afternoon.  And yes, I’m the only adult around.

So I was sitting here sipping my cocoa and reading blogs when I think to myself…

Wow.  You’re good!  Five kids here and you’ve got time for blogs and a relaxing cup of cocoa.  You’re just amazing!

But then I look around.  Yes, it’s quiet and peaceful.  But that’s because the two older girls are busy working on their Germany reports – in separate rooms.  And of the three boys who are playing downstairs, two of them aren’t mine – thus the calming influence on Zee. 

So in the end, I must admit the truth to myself and instead think….

Wow.  They’re good.  Five kids here today.  The girls are working so hard on their reports.  I’m so glad Zee has such good examples to follow in the other boys.  They’re all just amazing! 

Savoring Summer

I can tell right now I’m going to have a hard time when September rolls back around.

We’ve been enjoying our summer here.  Grandma came to visit and stayed with the kids so that the hubby and I could do an overnight away.  It was our first night away alone in nearly a decade… and it was wonderful.  We drove a few hours, stayed at a fancy hotel, saw a concert, had dinner and room service and went swimming and just had the most wonderfully relaxing time.

But that was a week ago and I’m having a hard time getting out of lazy mode.  I’ve been relaxed about the school work and instead let the girls go hang out with Grandma.  I had the laundry all caught up before we left… but now everything we own is dirty.  The house could use a good cleaning, I’ve got paperwork that’s been sitting on my desk for weeks now, I’m way behind in my blogging and family webpage updates and though it seems impossible, I realize it’s been months since I’ve seen many of my friends. 

Still I sit here trying to figure out how I can justify putting it all off another day. 

The kids are playing happily in their jammies with Legos.  I should tell them to get dressed and take care of their chores and do the school work for today….

But then I’d have to get to work too.   And I’m busy savoring what’s left of summer.

From Being Weary to Seeing Clearly

Adrian’s been out of control for about 3 weeks now.  It’s been a rough. We think hormones are partly to blame. It’s been severe enough that we made the appointment to speak with the doctor about options.  He’s very unhappy and his compulsive behaviors are preventing him from enjoying the things he usually finds calming and relaxing. 

I was feeling awful weary from it all this afternoon when I picked Adrian up from school.  Then, through the mirror, I watched as Zee and Adrian played.  They shared a few cookies, they laughed and giggled.  They played games where only the two of them understood the rules.  Adrian’s communication device lay lifeless on the seat next to me, defeated by the blow Adrian gave it when he threw it through the air earlier today. Just another in the long line of things he’s broken in the past few weeks.

But these two brothers didn’t need words.  They played and laughed and understood one another perfectly.  They put their foreheads together and giggled at one another. It was a sight to behold and brought tears to my eyes. 

See, despite the shattered window, broken baskets, cracked cabinets, the destroyed faucet and the constant slamming of doors and drawers… despite all the difficulties of the past few weeks, I was reminded that it’s really not all bad.  Adrian is part of our family and we love him.  The essence of Adrian is still in there, even when it’s hidden by a storm of rage and sadness.

Hopefully we can find a way to help him through this rough spot.  But regardless what lies ahead, I won’t soon forget the image of brotherly love or the reminder about how lucky we are to have him.

Field Trip to the City

With my mother-in-law in town, we were able to take a field trip to NYC without Adrian.  He’s often overwhemed by it all so that we’re not able to take the other kids to do and see what they want to.

This was the first trip we’ve taken where Zee was really old enough to appreciate it all.  With that in mind, we did the usual tourist stuff even though the girls had been there and done all that before.

We started our day at the Museum of Natural History.  Zee loved the dinosaurs and the elephants.  However, he was completely flipped out by the bears.  Couldn’t stand to go near the polar bear, brown bears or grizzlies. 

Then we walked.  We walked around Central Park and after getting a bit lost, finally arrived at the Central Park Zoo.  Strangely enough, Zee had no trouble at all looking at the real, live polar bears.  But nothing beat  the penguins!  The look on his face as he watched them glide through the water was priceless.  He was much less interested in the feeding of the sea lions, but the girls enjoyed the show.

We stopped in the Disney store and FAO Schwarz.  We saw headquarters for Daddy’s job.  Zee decided the building was way too tall to go inside. Then we walked to Grand Central.  We took a short subway trip to give Zee a taste of it. Like most little boys, he thought it was cool.

Then we stopped in and got few slices of pizza. We ate on stools at the counter while watching the city life out the big front window.  With tummies full, we walked to Times Square where Zee was captivated by all the lights and signs.  We walked through Toys R Us and went on the ferris wheel.  As far as Zee is concerned, this was the highlight of the trip.

After walking all day, we were all pretty beat.  A quick cab ride back to the car and we were ready for the long ride home.  It was a great day!

I’m Back!

Ok, so I really never left.  But things have been absolutely insane around here lately.

First, I was helping my husband get the websites up for our company.  The prototype of our software is close to being ready and we’re anxious to get it out there to the non-verbal kids we hope it will help. The one site is our company site, www.AutisTech.com    The other is a community site where we hope to bring together resources and infomation for parents of autistic children.  We’re hooking up with professionals we know to pick their brains about everything from IEPs to speech therapy.  Those articles should be out soon at www.EverydayAutism.com

Then there was the everyday stuff….

Monday my sister, for whom I advocate, came to discuss some things I’ll need to work on for her.  Then I had to go back to the doctor for a silly cyst on my back that’s been giving me grief for several weeks.  Ouch.  I closed the night out by hosting another Mom’s Night Out. 

Tuesday was a tag team doctor’s appointment for the boys.  Three shots total. 

Wednesday we picked my Mother-In-Law from the airport.  She’ll be staying with us indefinetly. 

Thursday I was asked to participate in a presentation at the NY Governor’s Expo on Assistive Technology.  It’s been a while since I’ve done public speaking of that magnitude so that consumed much of my time and energy the past few weeks.  My mother-in-law took care of the kids so my husband and I could go together.  It’s been many, many years since my husband and I have been out together, alone, in the light of day.  The presentation when off without a hitch and we had a great time.

I spent Friday doing approximately five hours of homework for a class on leading effective discussions. Yesterday I drove the 2+ hours to attend the class and drive the 2+ hours home.  The class was well done and I was glad I attended.

But now I’m tired.  I’ll spend today figuring out what I’ll need to do next week and trying to get some much needed downtime.  Oh, and catching up on all that laundry that’s piled up while I was busy doing everything else

Whirlwind Weeks

It was supposed to be a quiet, easy week.  Adrian was off school and I was really looking forward to a break from the 2 hours I spend in the car daily driving him to and fro.  I’m ending the week feeling anything but refreshed or revitalized.

I guess part of the problem was just recovering from last week.  There was a lot going on last week.  My mother-in-law came to visit. Monday was a meeting for an upcoming presentation I’m participating in.  Tuesday I had the whole mom’s group here for our weekly meeting while the church was being carpeted (all 12 adults and 12 children).  Wednesday I spent running around and then taking the kids swimming.  Thursday Adrian slept in till nearly 10, something very unusual for him so we skipped school that day.  Friday my husband left to take my mother-in-law to the train station and go to school for the day, Zee woke up throwing up and I spent the rest of the day getting ready for the mom’s group to come back for our monthly mom’s night out. 

Then this week started off when my husband left Sunday for a 3 day business trip, leaving me home alone with all the kids for the majority of the week.  By the time he got back Thursday, I was going a little crazy.  It occurred to me that I’d not spoken with another adult for a week.  That might have had something to do with it.  That and the fact that when my husband finally got home he left for another meeting and then spent the entire day away Friday too.  My husband works from home and I’m used to having him around.  I’m spoiled and I just don’t deal well with not seeing him for days on end.

I feel like I could use a week or two vacation.  I’ve got less than 48 hours till Monday morning arrives.  It’s not going to be enough.

In the Beginning…

It’s Home Education Week over at Principled Discovery and Dana’s asked us to share some personal history… life before homeschooling.  

In the beginning there was my husband.  Of course, back in 9th grade he wasn’t my husband yet.  We were friends.  I enjoyed bugging him while he worked in study hall.  I sat next to him in almost every class.  But neither of us was romantically interested in the other.

Until 10th grade.  Suddenly we looked at each other and thought, “Wait a minute… you’re the one!”  We dated through 10th grade and by the end had a solid relationship.  Which was good since he and his family moved an hour away the summer before our junior year.  We carried on a long distance relationship for the final two years of high school. 

College time came and although we both looked at private schools, we both ended up at the same, much cheaper, state school.  I went into college with the idea that I would become a math teacher.  I hated the math department so I switched to computer science.  It didn’t really matter.  I think I knew all the while I was just killing time waiting for a proposal. 

I think I finally convinced him we didn’t have to wait till we finished school to get married.  So with a year still to go we finally tied the knot.  Then I convinced him we didn’t have to wait for our degrees to have a baby.  We timed it perfectly, the baby was due just as my last semester was scheduled to end.

Thus I began my career in my chosen profession.    For years I worked at part time jobs. Both for the much needed cash and the chance to be productive, the opposite of my full time Mom job.  But when Adrian was diagnosed with autism at 2 years old, I realized that I was going to need to make being Mom my only job.  I gave up the part time job and have been putting all my energy into my career as Mom ever since.

Adrian started at a special preschool as soon as he was diagnosed.  That was a no-brainer given the amount of educational intervention required and my inability to provide it while caring for 6 month old twins.  School is still the best option for him for many reasons.

The girls went to preschool at 4.  The teacher had some concerns and suggested we hold off on sending them to kindergarten.  But we sent them.  In my mind I figured if it didn’t work out I could always homeschool them.  They had a rough time in kindergarten.  Bee had a rough time in first grade too.  But we muddled through all right. 

Then we got to second.  Bee wasn’t muddling through anymore.  She had some ADHDish tendencies and the school was pushing towards diagnosis, medication and educational interventions.  We didn’t think she needed any of those.  She just needed the right learning environment.  The time had come to homeschool.

Hubby wasn’t fully on board back then.  He wasn’t sure I could handle it with a toddler running around too.  I didn’t have time to think about that.  I had to make it work.  And I did.

So here we are, homeschoolers.  What do we miss?  Absolutely NOTHING.  I wouldn’t go back to the school nights full of stress and homework and chaos for anything.  You couldn’t ever convince me to go through school supply shopping, unproductive meetings with teachers and making my kids do work I know is pointless.  Fortunately, the girls and the hubby all feel the same.

What have we gained?  EVERYTHING.  It’s the ultimate freedom to do what works for us as individuals and as a family.  It’s the chance for the kids to learn and grow without labels, medication, boundaries or boxes.  It’s the chance for us to be together and enjoy our family time – all the time.