Foolish Fears

Home Education Week continues over at Principled Discovery where in honor of April Fool’s Day folks are sharing foolish moments, challenging times and rough days.

My first (of many) brushes with foolishness came before I even started homeschooling officially.  I was committed to it.  I’d told the school I was pulling Bee out and our official start date was about a week away.  Despite the fact that it was such a big step, I was feeling pretty confident that it would all work out.

Well, until a well meaning friend in my moms group said, “I don’t know how you’re going to be with your kids 24/7 like that and not go crazy.”   She meant it as a compliment, I think. But when she said it, I realized I’d not even considered that aspect of homeschooling.  I’d been so busy thinking about curriculum and schedules and plans and official paperwork and teaching methods … I hadn’t even thought about the potentially significant switch to being with my kids all the time without a break – ever!

How foolish of me!  I had made the decision to homeschool and never even considered the reality of the endless hours I’d be with my kids as a result!  Her remark had me worrying about it for the next week or so.  Could I really handle being with my kids that much?

Of course, now I feel a fool for every having given it a second thought.  I love having my kids home with me.  As I explain here, I’ve actually found it easier to be around them now than when they attended public school.

In the Beginning…

It’s Home Education Week over at Principled Discovery and Dana’s asked us to share some personal history… life before homeschooling.  

In the beginning there was my husband.  Of course, back in 9th grade he wasn’t my husband yet.  We were friends.  I enjoyed bugging him while he worked in study hall.  I sat next to him in almost every class.  But neither of us was romantically interested in the other.

Until 10th grade.  Suddenly we looked at each other and thought, “Wait a minute… you’re the one!”  We dated through 10th grade and by the end had a solid relationship.  Which was good since he and his family moved an hour away the summer before our junior year.  We carried on a long distance relationship for the final two years of high school. 

College time came and although we both looked at private schools, we both ended up at the same, much cheaper, state school.  I went into college with the idea that I would become a math teacher.  I hated the math department so I switched to computer science.  It didn’t really matter.  I think I knew all the while I was just killing time waiting for a proposal. 

I think I finally convinced him we didn’t have to wait till we finished school to get married.  So with a year still to go we finally tied the knot.  Then I convinced him we didn’t have to wait for our degrees to have a baby.  We timed it perfectly, the baby was due just as my last semester was scheduled to end.

Thus I began my career in my chosen profession.    For years I worked at part time jobs. Both for the much needed cash and the chance to be productive, the opposite of my full time Mom job.  But when Adrian was diagnosed with autism at 2 years old, I realized that I was going to need to make being Mom my only job.  I gave up the part time job and have been putting all my energy into my career as Mom ever since.

Adrian started at a special preschool as soon as he was diagnosed.  That was a no-brainer given the amount of educational intervention required and my inability to provide it while caring for 6 month old twins.  School is still the best option for him for many reasons.

The girls went to preschool at 4.  The teacher had some concerns and suggested we hold off on sending them to kindergarten.  But we sent them.  In my mind I figured if it didn’t work out I could always homeschool them.  They had a rough time in kindergarten.  Bee had a rough time in first grade too.  But we muddled through all right. 

Then we got to second.  Bee wasn’t muddling through anymore.  She had some ADHDish tendencies and the school was pushing towards diagnosis, medication and educational interventions.  We didn’t think she needed any of those.  She just needed the right learning environment.  The time had come to homeschool.

Hubby wasn’t fully on board back then.  He wasn’t sure I could handle it with a toddler running around too.  I didn’t have time to think about that.  I had to make it work.  And I did.

So here we are, homeschoolers.  What do we miss?  Absolutely NOTHING.  I wouldn’t go back to the school nights full of stress and homework and chaos for anything.  You couldn’t ever convince me to go through school supply shopping, unproductive meetings with teachers and making my kids do work I know is pointless.  Fortunately, the girls and the hubby all feel the same.

What have we gained?  EVERYTHING.  It’s the ultimate freedom to do what works for us as individuals and as a family.  It’s the chance for the kids to learn and grow without labels, medication, boundaries or boxes.  It’s the chance for us to be together and enjoy our family time – all the time. 

Calendars and Clocks

 Zee is one of those kids that picks stuff up quickly, effortlessly.  I’ve been taking full advantage of this by giving him two simple tools, a calendar and a clock. 

With the calendar we’ve been crossing off the days each night before bed.  Sometimes we’ll draw in pictures or write simple words about events.  Sometimes we count how many days are left till the end of the month or till an event.  Sometimes we count how many days are in the month or talk about which day of the week it is. In doing this simple thing, he’s improved his number recognition, counting skills, done some addition and is learning the names of the months and days. 

We found a great clock in our Target store.  Just a cheap, digital alarm clock which happened to have each digit light up a different color.  With the clock across the room we could easily talk about the green hour number or the orange tens number or the red minute number.  Just from watching the clock for a few minutes before bed each night he’s learning to read the time properly, read double digit numbers to 59 and understand that the clock says 7 o’clock, 8 o’clock,  9 o’clock…. twice each day.  He’s learned that we get Adrian from school at 2:00, we go up for a bath at 6:00 and it’s time for bed at 7:00. 

Given how quickly he picks all this up, I’m going to have to figure out more small ways we can keep this thirsty little sponge filled up!

Independent Work

A mom considering homeschooling asked me about independent work.  She was concerned that with a part time job, she might not have enough time to homeschool her son.

Another mom in the midst of moving asked about independent work.  She wants her son to continue to learn even though she’s pressed for time these days.

So how does independent work fit into our homeschooling? 

Although one of the main benefits of homeschooling is one-to-one teaching, I think another benefit is being able to let our kids take personal responsibility for their learning.  There are many things that are acquired over time, with practice rather than learned once for all.  I think these are ideal places to give them independence in their work.  Writing, reading, spelling, vocabulary and review are all areas where I’m not teaching so much as providing them with the opportunity to improve their skills. 

The 45 minutes before bedtime is set aside for reading independently.  The girls choose their own, age appropriate books and are free to read at whatever speed they’re comfortable with.  Occasionally they read to one another or I’ll read with them but mostly it’s silent reading.  Through this independent reading the girls have improved their reading skills, discovered new genres and experienced a base of literature that they can draw on to further their own writing skills and understanding of various other topics including history and science.

Spelling is another area where the girls work independently.  Most weeks I give them a list of words and ask them to type definitions and example sentences.  The goal is to increase their ability to look up words alphabetically, get more practice typing and using a word processor, increase their vocabulary and, of course, improve their spelling accuracy.  I often include words in the spelling list from topics we’re studying to make this exercise as meaningful as possible.  Back when the girls were still working on improving their handwriting, spelling work let us work toward that goal as well.

Writing is a perfect example of a skill that can only be improved with practice.  Most of our unit studies produce at least one report, essay, short story or other piece of writing.  They take notes, write outlines and rough drafts on their own.  I  help them with the editing process and then they type the final draft.  I always allow the girls to choose what aspect of our unit study they want to write about.  Sometimes I offer them a choice of writing style as well. 

Review is a touchy subject for me.  I hated it when I was in school.  It was almost always done in class to prepare us for a test and it was sooooo boring.  I don’t want to subject my kids to the same torture but I recognize the value of reviewing things we’ve previously covered.  With twins, I have the benefit of having two students in the same grade, learning the same things.  So for us, review almost always comes in the form of games.  I maintain an index card box full of questions and answers drawn from our previous studies.  Sometimes the girls take turns asking one another questions and sometimes they use a trivia pursuit board game, substituting their questions for the ones included with the game.  I suppose if you had students learning different things you could simply have a seperate box of questions for each.  We also have some homemade math board games that review math facts and those BrainQuest cards that are kept in the car so they can quiz each other on the road.

The end goal, of course, is to end up with kids who can learn whatever they need or want to completely independently.  With this in mind, I think independent work has an important role to play in homeschooling.  As the girls get older, I’ll continue to look for ways to increase the work they complete on their own.

The Daily Groan

Since we began homeschooling the girls midway through the second grade, nearly every school day has come with a groan at one point or another. 

I think some of it comes from their experience in public school.  I suspect that part of the kindergarten curriculum is  to teach kids that learning is painful and boring. About half way through that first year of school the groan made it’s appearance.  I’ve heard the same has happened to other parents.

Then there’s the ‘kid’ factor. Kids are famous for wanting to avoid work, right?  Well, in many respects I think mine are the exception.  The privilege of washing pots and pans is actually a highly motivating reward in my house.  But still, they’re kids and avoiding work is part of the creed, right?

So the daily groan continues in my house (although, I have noticed that as time goes on, it is less and less)…. So – what to do about it?!

I’ve tried to be nothing short of honest with the girls about the way things are. 

1. I am committed to giving them the best education I can in the most interesting and fun way I can. 
2. They have choices – including the choice to go back to public school and the choice to not complete the work required therby forfeiting advancement to the next grade.

Most of what I do to counter the groan is only to remind them of these facts.  For example:

• To prove that some things they need to know cannot easily be made into a game or fun activity, I gave the girls each a week of being the teacher.  I told them what needed to be learned, they decided for themselves and their ’student’ how best to teach it.  Suddenly with the pressure on, they realized that I really was doing my best to make things fun and meaningful.   In the end, they both developed an appreciation for my efforts. 
• Along these same lines, I regularly offer the opportunity to improve my plans.  Sometimes they can’t think of a better way and simply stop groaning.  Other times they find a different path they like better …which I happily let them take.  Of course, it’s usually things I don’t think are fun or interesting….. but then they think washing pots and pans is fun and interesting!
• I remind them I’m a person with feelings too.  When they groan, it’s kinda like telling me I’m not doing my job well.  It’s ok to be less than thrilled about the work, but they still need to be considerate of my efforts. Reminded that ultimately I do what I do because I care about them, they usually double their efforts.
• Choices are built in.  They make the choice daily to do the work or not. In the short term, not working means they can’t play school games.  Long term, they know they can’t proceed to the next grade until they’ve finished the work for that grade.  There are days they simply choose not to work and therefore forfeit their school games.  They’re ok with that and so am I.  So far they haven’t been willing to consider not advancing on schedule, but if they did, I’d be ok with that too. 

In the end, the daily groan has little effect on our schooling.  Much of what they learn, they really enjoy learning even if the initial reaction was to groan.  Still, I’d rather eliminate the habit all together.  Until we do, it’s back to the daily groan!

Homeschooling Questions

Mom Is Teaching posted a question from someone considering homeschooling.  I’ve opted to answer here as my response is rather lengthy.  She writes:

“Thanks for making your experiences available to others! I’m looking forward to your Friday answer days.

I have not begun homeschooling yet, but the more I explore, the more I want to try this with my family. I have 2 daughters – 5 and 8, who are entering Kindergarten and 4th grade in a private Christian school.

While I am convinced that Homeschooling is a great option for us, my husband is still skeptical. One of his main concerns is that he will come home at the end of the day and our school work will not be done.

I guess my question is, how do you deal with those days when the kids are uncooperative, especially when there are things that I feel are necessary to their education, but they don’t particularly enjoy.”

The first thing I noticed here was that her husband’s concerns seemed to be about how homeschooling might affect his afterwork hours.  Those concerns can easily be put to rest.  Homeschooling can easily be accomplished by one parent so there’s no need for him to take on the responsibility of teacher if he doesn’t want to.  Homeschool also offers ultimate flexibility in schedule.  The kids can do their work whenever it best suits the family.  If he wants evenings to be reserved for family time, they can just adjust their homeschool schedule to accomodate that.  We actually had MORE family time in the evenings when we started homeschooling as I mentioned in this post.

Second, she asks how you get the kids to work when they don’t want to.  There isn’t an easy answer to this.  Like so many things in parenting, there are many approaches and you have to find the one that works for you and your kids.  My kids aren’t always happy about what’s on the adgenda but I’ve got a few things that have helped:

• Ditch traditional teaching methods and be creative in your approach whenever possible.  Yes, it does take more effort than handing them workbooks – but not as much as you might think.  In the end, it saves time because rather than nudge them along a miserable route, with a little effort on your part, they’ll fly through the learning experience eagerly – getting much more out of it on the way.
• Letting them know exactly what’s on the adgenda really helps.  Knowing they’re free to play when the work is done, they find it easier to buckle down and finish when I clearly lay out for them what I want accomplished for the day.
• Design your curriculum around their interests. I know this sounds overwhelming but it’s easier than you think.  Ask your kids what they want to learn about.  You’ll be surprised to find their natural curiosity follows age appropriate concepts you might be considering teaching anyhow.  Knowing where the interests lie, relate the less liked activities and subject to it.  I talk a little about how I do this in this post.
• Stay flexible. The kid aren’t gonna be ‘on’ everyday.  Leave room for days when things aren’t going well and you need to just take a day off.  Best advice I got as a new homeschooler was to leave the last week or two of the quarter blank – don’t plan to teach anything new.  That way if you you’ve got flexibility built in.
• Learn with them!  The best, easiest way I’ve found to motivate my kids to learn is to be interested in learning myself.  If you’re looking at books and tell them about cool stuff you’ve read, they’re gonna come see what all the fuss is all about.  If you’re doing it enthusiastically, they’re gonna follow!  If you find it boring, they will too.  Change it so you’re interested and they’ll join you in learning without even realizing it.

I mentioned in this post that my husband wasn’t sold on the homeschooling when we started either.  Of course, now that he’s seen it in action, he’s completely on board. While I’d agree that homeschooling isn’t for everyone, I think most folks who even consider it are likely candidates to reap all the benefits homeschooling has to offer.  I encourage the author of this question to jump right in!

Our Plans

I enjoy meeting folks who are just making the decision to homeschool.  I’m still new enough to this myself that I remember the emotions they are experiencing.  Most I’ve met, like I was, are very concerned about ‘the plan’. 

“We need to choose a curriculum!” 

“How will I know what to teach?”

 ”How will we know if we’re doing it right?”

“How will we make sure we don’t miss something?!”

I want to be able to tell them that the curriculum isn’t as nearly as important as they think. There’s more to learn in the world than can ever be learned. 

I want to tell them that flexibility is the key. Leave room to learn spontaneously. 

I want to tell them to relax and have fun with it.  Kids naturally follow a parent’s lead.  If you’re learning and having fun, they’re sure to follow enthusiastically.

I want to tell them to look at it all a different way.  But I realize that for some these lessons are only learned by experience,  over time.  I read some of these same things when I started out.  I read them and said, “Yeah, yeah… but what about the PLAN?!!!”

We were really lucky to have started homeschooling mid-year.  We didn’t want to spend a fortune on curriculum for just a few months so we asked the school for the texts the girls were already using. The school gave me the all the text books but when I saw how light they were, we decided to suppliment with things the girls wanted to learn. Thus, I learned that it wasn’t nearly as difficult to learn on our own as I imagined it would be.  I also learned that the knowledge we pursued was actually more rich and valuable than what the text books had to offer.  I’m not sure I would have believed it if I hadn’t seen it and done it myself those first few months.  I’m almost certain I would have been suckered into pre-packaged curriculum if we had started in the fall instead.

For my newbie friends, I put a blank ‘Quarter Plan’ form and our 3rd & 4th grade plans in the ‘Homeschool Forms’ page.  I still find it valuable to have a plan, but you’ll notice that in most areas, it’s nothing more than a general topic. Most of these topics were hand picked by the girls.  For a year and a half we learned about various countries, because Bee wanted to learn about countries.  Gee was interested in learning about magnets. Bee wanted to know more about volcanoes and earthquakes. Gee saw something that sparked an interest in the Roman Empire so that was added to the list.

I never know what exactly we’re going to learn about these topics till we get the library books and see what sparks our interest. You can’t plan that ahead of time!

How We Started Homeschooling

It’s going around!  Homeschool blogs everywhere are talking about how they got started.  So, I guess I’ll post my story too.  I wouldn’t want to be unfashionable

Even before we had kids, I was open to the idea of homeschooling.  The hubby, however, was not.  He believed  strongly that school was good for them. My son was diagnosed with autism at 2 and a half, when the girls were just 6 months old.  It was a no brainer at that point, Adrian would have to have special schooling and therapies that I could not provide at home.  I didn’t then, and still don’t feel that I can provide what he needs by homeschooling him.  The choice for him was easy.

For the girls it was harder.  When they entered preschool a couple of hours each week, there were some concerns.  They seemed immature for their age, had some speech difficulties, vocabulary recall problems and attention issues.  They were born at the end of the year and arrived a full month early so for the most part I just figured that was the problem.  I was assured by doctors and teachers alike that the effects of being younger would quickly be outgrown.  I toyed with the idea of holding them back another year but in the end, I was convinced that it would be ok to send them to kindergarten anyhow. 

That first year in school they were both classified with some speech problem because the evaluators thought they’d do best in the inclusive class where there was a special education teacher team teaching and extra hands availible in the classroom. In the back of my mind, I just told myself it was no big deal.  If it didn’t work out, I’d just homeschool.

First grade they removed the classification, they seemed to be doing ok.  There were still issues and they placed one of the girls in an inclusive first grade classroom just to be on the safe side.  It was a rough year.  When things weren’t going well, we’d just deal with it as best we could.  All the time I just kept telling myself, if it doesn’t work out, I’ll just homeschool them.

We moved one week into the second grade.  In the new school, both girls were placed in regular classrooms for the first time.  It was clear early on, we were in trouble.  I was called in to the school to meet with a ‘team’ who had evaluated Bee.  They were all convinced she was ADHD and wanted us to seek a diagnosis and medication, have her classified and pulled from the classroom on a regular basis.  She was falling behind in her work.  She wasn’t keeping up with her classmates. 

I knew from working with her for hours each night on her homework, she had difficulty concentrating and getting the endless worksheets done.  Still, she was smart and able to do the work.  She just needed more time, some redirection here and there and the ability to move her body around a lot.  It seemed wrong to do all that when she was able to learn, just in a different manner than was expected in school.

The doctor agreed with me.  Sure, we could give her a diagnosis, but did we need to?  NO!  The school didn’t like that.  They didn’t like what this prominent developmental pediatrian had to say.  They told me to go somewhere else, get another opinion.  It sealed the deal for me and gave me the amunition I needed to convince the hubby, now was the time to homeschool.

I worked out detailed schedules, researched curiculum and finally presented him with my case.  He hesitated, unsure if I could handle all the extra work involved.  I assured him I could.  I would make it work, because it needed to be done.

Eventually he agreed we should try homeschooling next year.  It was February and that gave me a few months to plan, right?  Well, no.  See, it occured to me after watching Bee get further and further behind that waiting was wrong.  Sure, there was the chance that homeschool wouldn’t work out.  But what was happening in school wasn’t working out NOW.  We had nothing to lose!  I convinced the hubby that if we pulled her out now, we could experiment till the fall and know for sure if we’d continue or not by then.  It would be easier to pull her out mid-year than it would be to put her in mid-year if things didn’t work out.

He agreed with my logic and BOOM -we were homeschoolers!  Bee was home a whole week by herself before the winter break came.  Gee was doing well in her class but we felt it was unfair to make the choice for her.  She homeschooled with us the week of her winter break and we gave her the choice to homeschool or stay in her class.  She chose homeschool and presto – we had two students.

Of course, it didn’t take long before the hubby was sold on the homeschooling.  With Zee there wasn’t even a question…. of course he’ll be homeschooled!